15.10.11

Peeling the Union


What do Winston Churchill and David Hasselhoff, the Dalai Lama and Shakira (portrayed above), Albert Einstein and Pamela Anderson, Malcolm X and Diego Armando Maradona have in common?
It's easy. They all gave a speech at the self-proclaimed World's Most Famous Debauching Debating Society, the Oxford Union.

Quoting the Union's current president, Izzy Westbury: "Our speaker line-up continues to be something that other societies in Oxford, Britain and across the world can only dream of".
And miss Westbury has very good reasons to be proud of it.
One need only consider that the 2011 Michaelmas Term debate season beginning on Sunday 9th October was opened by Katie Price. I mean, yeah, Katie Price. No less a person than Katie Price. Ka-tie. Pri-ce. Formerly known as Jordan.
According to the Union's programme "she is everywhere - you can't help but know who she is". Do you? If you don't, you shouldn't despair. Just keep in mind that this is Oxford. Only the best ones are addressed here. But a pic may help in clearing up your mind.


A recent snapshot of Miss Price out of a members only club





"Everyone should work for a living" said Katie Price - A powerful attack to the unemployed and those getting benefits or rather a strong defence to The Sun's page 3 girls and teenage lingerie models? - it was later debated at the Union's cocktail bar.

And it's not over yet.
If you missed what Katie Price talked about, you will have plenty of choices to hear and see some of the most significant orators of our time in the forthcoming weeks.
Behold! The Junoesque (but extremely clever, eh!) Sky Sports host Hailey McQueen will be at the Union on 8th November. The topic of her speech is still undisclosed, but some deep throats say that she will talk either of quantum mechanics or football gossip. Unfortunately the brainy busty sensation Imogen Thomas, refused the Union's invitation for the same day having a previous engagement at her Mensa club.



The Hoff (here portrayed with his long-time partner) became famous on February 2011 for having delivered a feverish speech at the Union regarding alcoholics. A dedicated follower of both the Stanislavski system and the bottle, Mr Hasselhoff took the floor while completely drunk.




But Hailey is only the most promising name on a list that includes a wild bunch of "simply splendid speakers" as the Union's leaflet puts straight.
The first appointment will be on 26th October with director Roland Emmerich who's working on a romantic comedy set up in Oxford starring Miley Cyrus and Richard Dawkins and involving the accidental sinking of the British isles in a minor cataclism. In the following weeks the presidents of Finland, Macedonia and Mongolia (special discount, see 3 pay 2) will pop up together with music stars Snow Patrol ("One of the biggest bands of the last century") and The Hanson ("MMMBop!").

It's utterly true how these people cannot compete with the likes of icons of contemporary pop culture such as pornstars Ron Jeremy and Jenna Jameson who both spoke in Oxford years ago, but I think one has to reckon that the guys at the Union are doing their best.

So, in case you are a student at Oxford University, you might give them a chance and join the Union here. A Life Membership costs only 218 £ and it's "an Excellent investment". You won't miss the next pornstar live!

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